a little bud light, adrenaline and missing some old friends

well I have my third tattoo. I've almost caught up with my brother, who has four tats now. I love it but when I'm 80 it's going to look really bad b/c my arm is going to be wrinkled and sagging. Oh well...cest la vie. And life is too short for regrets. :) I'm missing some people that used to be a major part of my life. Brynn for one. Our relationship is on the mend but I don't think she would consider me her "best friend" the way she did before all the bullshit I allowed. In all honesty I do regret quite a few things in my life but those mistakes made me who I am today. And all in all I believe I'm a pretty decent person. I definitely believe in karma so you gotta put good out into the world to get it back. I'm also missing Heather. She's only a couple hours away but I hardly ever get to see her. Mabye we can meet up on Christmas Eve. She is possible coming through this good ole town on her way to visit parents...or coming back from. One or the other. :) I've had a few beers tonight just b/c I was in the mood. I have to really be feeling it otherwise I just get sick. yuck. Ok now I'm tired...It's one eleven am. Make a wish, I guess.

I know something good about you.

Wouldn't this old world be better
If the folks we meet would say -
"I know something good about you"
And treat us just that way?

Wouldn't it be fine and dandy
If each handclasp, fond and true,
Carried with it this assurance -
I know something good about you

Wouldn't life be lots more happy
If the good that's in us all
Were the only thing about us
That folks bothered to recall?

Wouldn't life be lots more happy
If we praised the good we see?
For there's such a lot of goodness
In the worst of you and me!

Wouldn't it be nice to practice
That fine way of thinking, too?
You know something good about me,
I know something good about you!

Slow Down

Sometimes I feel like the world is spinning too fast. I look around and wish I could slow everything down. It doesn't seem like that long ago that I was fresh out of high school and I had the world at my feet. I know I'm still young but now I'm married with a beautiful baby boy. I see all the college kids come into town living the carefree life and sometimes I miss it. Not very often b/c I'm really happy with the life I have.

It's like I'm digging my heels into the ground trying to stop but I just go deeper into the ground. I think everyone should live everyday to the fullest but who has time for that? I know I don't live everyday like it's my last. I do really enjoy my husband and my son. So I guess I do live a full life. :)

A New Life

My life has been "changed" many times.

Things happen that open your eyes and alter your way of thinking. These things affect your heart. Of course my life was changed when I met Kyle. It was further changed when he became my husband. I didn't think I could be any happier. I had my prince charming and our lives were bound together in the eyes of God. Our lives were also bound together by the person I had growing in my womb. A combination of God's divine plan and our love for one another. We created a life out of our passion. The anticipation was great and finally here comes this wonderful change. His arrival instantly transformed me. Seeing his angelic face for the first time, hearing his helpless cry. That person I used to be was no longer there. It was like she was killed by this new person I became. I was reborn with the birth of my son. Finally I knew the meaning of absolute unconditional love. I could tell the first time that I saw Gabriel and the first time I held him in my arms that there was nothing he would ever do to change the way I felt about him. Life seemed so clear to me now. I finally had fulfillment that I didn't even know I was missing. It's rewarding to talk to someone who doesn't talk back. The greatest satisfaction is the sweetest smile. Some people might think it's strange. Maybe parenthood isn't for everyone but i don't think there is a better feeling on earth.

"The Girl I Used to Be" Rowena Lewis

She came to me tonight as I sat alone
The Girl I used to be....
And she gazed at me with her earnest eye
And questioned reproachfully.

Have you forgotten the many plans
And hopes I had for you?
The great career, the splendid fame
And all the wonderful things to do?

Where is the mansion of stately height
With all its gardens rare?
The silken robes I dreamed for you
And the jewels in your hair?

And as she spoke I was very sad
For I wanted her pleased with me...
This slender girl from the shadowy past
The girl that I used to be.

So gently rising I took her hand
And guided her up the stairs
Where peacefully sleeping my babies lay
Innocent, sweet and fair.

And I told her that these are my only gems
And precious they are to me;
That the silken robes is my motherhood
Of costly simplicity.

And my mansion of stately height is Love,
And the only career I know
Is serving each day in these sheltered walls
For the dear ones who come and go

And as I spoke to my shadowy guest
She smiled through tears at me
And I saw the woman I am now
Pleased the girl I used to be.

~Rowena Lewis~

The First

Here is my very first blog. Today I decided to start this blog spot because I love to write. Mostly journal, get it out of my head, type writing. I never went to school to learn how to do it correctly or professionally but I suppose when it comes to art, it's in the eye of the beholder. Maybe no one will be interested in what I have to say but maybe someone will read something I've written and it will change their life. Strange how things work out sometimes. * I'm sitting on my couch listening to rain outside my door and also the sweet sounds my son is making in his sleep. He will be one month old in two days. I will be 25 years old in three days. I made it to the "Quarter Life" mark. My quarter life was marked by my marriage and birth of my son. I have a wonderful husband that is One of the two greatest blessings of my life.